Wait...What?

I'm a lucky girl.

Here's why:

P.s. That's Carolyn. Read about her here!

I get to call this dork mine. <3

It is SO easy to get discouraged when you're "waiting" for a missionary. Everyday is seriously a roller coaster. You go from "OH MY GOSH I LOVE HIM TO DEATH AND THESE NEXT 21 MONTHS ARE GOING TO FLY BY!" to "AAAALLLLLL BBBYYYYYYY MMMYYYYYSEELLLLLFFFFFF"

Keep in mind that happens in a matter of seconds. It's terrible. 

We're gonna throw in the actual clip of that gif because it's probably the best thing in the world.

Anyway,

These past 80 days have been a really interesting experience for me. If you know me personally or have read most of my posts, you know that I am not the typical relationship kind of girl. I have always been VERY content on my own. And I still am honestly. I miss him but it isn't hard for me to get through every day. Which is a HUGE blessing. I see things from other MGs about how much they miss their mish and how hard it is for them to get used to them being gone. Don't get me wrong, I totally feel for them. I definitely have my moments. (Refer to earlier clip for a strangely accurate description of those moments I have...) 

Today has been a mixture of both sides of the spectrum. Earlier today I was really frustrated and I just wanted Justin to be here so we can figure out what we're going to do with the rest of our lives. I mean we've already decided on what we're doing for our honeymoon. Is that weird? Probably. Do I care? Nope. Am I excited? Heck yes. 

Let me just be real for a second. 

I am completely terrified to go to college. And not for the reasons you would expect. I am genuinely terrified that I will find someone new. And really, if I do, then that's the way it's supposed to be but I REALLY want Justin to be the one. Right now it does feel like he's the one but things can change. And let's be honest; if he isn't "the one", I'm gonna have to tell him. 

I think it would break my heart more than his. 

He's one of my best friends in the world and I can't imagine how he would take it. 

Ugh. Being a missionary girlfriend is too complicated. I'm really hoping it's all worth it in the end. Ha

But for now, things are great. I love him, he still loves me (at least he did on Monday) and life is good. 

I don't even really know what this post is about. I had it all planned out in my mind and then it just kinda went everywhere I didn't expect it to. Oh well. 

Go team.

And as the lovely GloZell would say,

"Peace and blessins."

Storms Never Come To Stay

This post isn't really missionary related but I just feel the need to say it. 

For the first time in a long time, I am truly happy. Which is kinda funny because the circumstances I'm under right now are far from ideal.  

I work all day everyday.

Most of my friends live at least 2 hours away from me.

I'm not going to college at the moment like I always thought I would be.

And the love of my life is about 2000 miles away from me.

I'm basically a hermit (involuntarily) that works 10 hours a day either scooping ice cream or sitting in a basement of a funeral home making memorial videos for funerals.

Like I said, far from ideal. 

But just over the last couple weeks, the way I look at everything has changed. Instead of looking at that list the way it's written, I look at it like this:

I have TWO jobs that have good pay. A lot of people can't even get one job.

I have AMAZING friends that are worth missing.

I get to go to college, not as soon as I planned, but I still get to go.

I have found the love of my life and he has left everything behind to change peoples lives for two years.

I don't know what it is that has changed to make me have such a different outlook on my life but I'm grateful for it. 

I have absolutely nothing to complain about. 

No, I don't love my jobs, I don't have any friends nearby, I'm not going to college, and I don't get to see or even talk to my love everyday but that is nothing to complain about. 

LIFE. IS. GOOD.

If you're going through a rough patch, just change your outlook. 

It's as simple as that. 

Here's some happy songs because why not. 

Back in the World - David Gray

How Bad We Need Each Other - Marc Scibilia

Today - Wiliamette Stone

Send Me On My Way - Rusted Root

I'm Alive - Kenny Chesney (With Dave Matthews)

The ENTIRE Dan in Real Life soundtrack...

You Make My Dreams - Daryl Hall and John Oates

BE HAPPY! 

I know, I know. Any of you that know me are thinking, "Uhh Jenna. Take your own advice."

I'm working on it. :)

But serously. Just be happy. It makes living so much better. :)

Carolyn

Let me tell you a little story.

Last week in Justin's email, he was very excited to say that he had his first baptism scheduled for November 1st. His exact words were, "My investigator, Carolyn, was there with us for all four General Conference sessions she could attend! :)  Annnnnd.....she wrote down that she wants to get baptized on Nov. 1st!!! :)  I told you more in my letter home to you, but yeah!!  Wahoo!!  If I could hi-five the Spirit, I would. :)" He's kinda cute. :) Anyway, he is way excited.

Carolyn is 23 years old and is going to a college really close to where Justin is living. He described her as the older sister he never had. 

Well, last night, I got a Facebook message from Carolyn. Here's what she said:

"Hi! I know this is so weird and please don't mention this to him, but Elder Sumsion talks about you quite a bit (it's a good thing!). I just want to say I totally admire your faith in Christ for you two to be apart for so long. Elder Sumsion teaches me my lessons with his companion. He's an amazing missionary and it's a privilege to be taught by him. I'm converting to the LDS church so I wanted to tell you that his work IS making a huge difference in people's lives. You take care of yourself and I hope you're well. Carolyn"

I couldn't get myself to respond for like 10 minutes because I was so excited and happy and all the emotions. I was literally crying.

She and I continued to talk for about an hour. It was one of the best conversations I have ever had in my life. She talked about how she has always been so unsure about things but she just knew that joining our church was the right thing for her to do and that she wouldn't be joining the church this soon if Justin hadn't been there to teach her. 

Having the opportunity to talk to Carolyn was something that I didn't ever expect to happen. But I'm so glad it did. Not only did it comfort me but it gave me the chance to really see what Justin is doing. I always knew that Justin was going to be an amazing missionary but after talking to Carolyn, it is so obvious that he is doing some amazing things for the people in Canada. It makes me SO proud of him. What he has done for Carolyn is something that she will NEVER forget. He has completely changed her life. 

I totally emailed Justin when she and I finished talking (even though she told me not to...how could I not?!). Anyway, in the email I said, "Someday when we're married (it that's how it works out :) ), can we please go to Canada and meet some of the people you taught? I would love to meet them. Especially Carolyn. :)"

I wish every MG had the opportunity to talk to one of their missionary's investigators. It is one of the best experiences I have ever had. Hearing how much my missionary has helped someone makes it so much easier to be apart from him. I won't get to see Justin for two years but I'm so glad that this is the reason why. I am more than willing to wait while he changes peoples lives.  :)

Little Conversations. :)

Every once in a while, Justin and I will get to email back and forth for a little while before he has to go and I just wanted to share one of my favorite exchanges. :)

P.s. I'm only 4'11" so it's an ongoing joke about how short I am.

Jenna: Haha yeah, you better get on top of that whole growing thing. I’ve got it down. ;)

Justin: Haha, or else what? ;)

Jenna: I don’t know…haha I’ll come up with something. :) you just might have to deal with me for forever… :)

Justin: Hmm....is that a blessing, or a punishment? ;)  Because if that's a punishment, that's the best punishment I could ever get, forever. <3 :)

Jenna: It is a pretty good one. :)

Justin: Haha, yeah it is, only if it's with you. :)

Jenna: I’m in if you are :)

Justin: I am definitely in if you are in. :)  I know it'll be rough for the next little while, but I'll be home soon, like that song.  I've got to go, but know that I love you. :)  I love you so very much. <3  Have a great week Honey. :)  And I'll let you know what the plan is with time as soon as I get a letter back from you. :)  Je t'aime beaucoup. <3  You are my most prized possession...Mine. <3 :)

p.s. I love you, Jenna. :)

Jenna: I love you. See you soon. <3

It's the little things. :)

How I See It

This is a little post about how I see things going when I finally get to see Justin again. :)

But of course, it's all through GIFS!!!!!

How I think I'll act:

How I'll really act:

Before I get to the airport:

 What I think I'll be doing when I finally see him:

What I'll really be doing when I finally see him:

 

 Then I'll run up to him like so:

 I'll probably be like a lost puppy.

"Please please please please. Let me love you."

And then:

Then I'll do my happy dance,

And life will be the best it's been in two years.

Life. Will. Be. Great.

Story Time! (Holy GIFs Batman...)

Are you ready for this?

Buckle up your seat belts. 

SO.

I saw Justin's mom (Tawni) yesterday.

I don't really have a relationship with Justin's family. Justin and I were only together for about 3 months before he left and we didn't spend very much time around his family. I think they knew that Justin and I were kind of together but I have no idea what they know now. 

So when I saw her yesterday, it wasn't the easiest thing ever. It had been a super stressful day at work and I wasn't ready for that...

Here's how it went.

I was dealing with some drama that was going on in the back and I went into the store to talk to some of the other people working and when I walked in, there she was. 

Seeing her scared the living daylights out of me.

Not because she has anything against me or something like that, but because that was the first time I saw her since Justin left. It really made me miss him.

Anyway, seeing her really caught me off guard. 

I went to talk to one of my coworkers in the store and I just stood there for like 15 seconds because I was so distracted. Finally I remembered what I was doing and I talked to my coworker and booked it out of there. Heh.

I walked back to the back and well, this is basically what happened. 

Then I had to go back in and she was still there. She saw me that time and we exchanged a very quick "hello, how are you, good?, good."

Then I went to the back again. 

The only word that I could think of:

It's a good thing I got off about 5 minutes after I saw her because I completely lost it. I ran out to my car and just cried. Haha I was a wreck. I'm really hoping I reacted like that because it was such a stressful day at work and seeing her was just one thing too much...but who knows.

I got home and this was me.

But then I FaceTimed my bestest buddy and that made things much better. We talked it out, she told me a pretty funny story, and life was good again.

I still couldn't stop thinking about it though. As time went on, my view of it changed though. 

Seeing Tawni was like seeing part of Justin. It made him seem real again. 

Next time I see her or anyone else in his family, I'll probably be like this...

I really wish I would have slowed down and actually talked to her though. Oh well.

And then General Conference happened and that just makes everything better.

I super duper loved the Portuguese guys (I didn't catch his name. Whoops.) talk about making decisions. If you read my post about my decision to go to a different college than I originally planned and you're curious as to what happened with Justin or whatever, it all went good. If you haven't read it and you are really confused, read this. :)

This is what he said to me, "I'm sorry that deciding to go to the the right school for you was so hard. :/  But Jenna, you have ALL of my support. :)  I love you and I want the very best for you.  I am so happy for you!! <3 :)  I'm glad you think that BYU-I is the best place for you. :)  I am sure you made the best choice. :)  Plus, I still get to come to your concerts and recitals with lots of your favorite flowers, right? ;)  haha, I will love seeing you and the progress you've made when I get back."

It was a pretty good week. :)