Wait...What?

I'm a lucky girl.

Here's why:

P.s. That's Carolyn. Read about her here!

I get to call this dork mine. <3

It is SO easy to get discouraged when you're "waiting" for a missionary. Everyday is seriously a roller coaster. You go from "OH MY GOSH I LOVE HIM TO DEATH AND THESE NEXT 21 MONTHS ARE GOING TO FLY BY!" to "AAAALLLLLL BBBYYYYYYY MMMYYYYYSEELLLLLFFFFFF"

Keep in mind that happens in a matter of seconds. It's terrible. 

We're gonna throw in the actual clip of that gif because it's probably the best thing in the world.

Anyway,

These past 80 days have been a really interesting experience for me. If you know me personally or have read most of my posts, you know that I am not the typical relationship kind of girl. I have always been VERY content on my own. And I still am honestly. I miss him but it isn't hard for me to get through every day. Which is a HUGE blessing. I see things from other MGs about how much they miss their mish and how hard it is for them to get used to them being gone. Don't get me wrong, I totally feel for them. I definitely have my moments. (Refer to earlier clip for a strangely accurate description of those moments I have...) 

Today has been a mixture of both sides of the spectrum. Earlier today I was really frustrated and I just wanted Justin to be here so we can figure out what we're going to do with the rest of our lives. I mean we've already decided on what we're doing for our honeymoon. Is that weird? Probably. Do I care? Nope. Am I excited? Heck yes. 

Let me just be real for a second. 

I am completely terrified to go to college. And not for the reasons you would expect. I am genuinely terrified that I will find someone new. And really, if I do, then that's the way it's supposed to be but I REALLY want Justin to be the one. Right now it does feel like he's the one but things can change. And let's be honest; if he isn't "the one", I'm gonna have to tell him. 

I think it would break my heart more than his. 

He's one of my best friends in the world and I can't imagine how he would take it. 

Ugh. Being a missionary girlfriend is too complicated. I'm really hoping it's all worth it in the end. Ha

But for now, things are great. I love him, he still loves me (at least he did on Monday) and life is good. 

I don't even really know what this post is about. I had it all planned out in my mind and then it just kinda went everywhere I didn't expect it to. Oh well. 

Go team.

And as the lovely GloZell would say,

"Peace and blessins."